In 8 days I will have packed up everything I decided to keep from my past, hop in my car, and head for my future. Sounds dramatic I suppose (as some of you know my melodramatic side...), but really it is. If you know me at all, you know that this is a BIG DEAL. I stress if you know me at all. My life has been what seems like one big mess in the past year or so. I have gone from unhappy and clueless to joyful and sure. I have gone from caring about what EVERYONE thinks of my life decisions to being so content knowing that I made a decision for me that I am confident in no matter what anyone else thinks. In the past six months I have gone from an unhappy housewife to a jumbled, confused person with a divorce pending, to a single woman, to a girlfriend of a man who is the best friend anyone could ever ask for. I could go on and on about all of these stages in my life, but the one that matters most is the one that is now. That stage is "happier than I can ever remember being".
This brings me back to those who know me. For the people who believe that what I am doing is for me and for the best and aren't selfish or stuck on themselves, for the people who know that I have made changes in my life that are for the best and don't think I am still the same old weak person they used to know, for the people who have supported me since the moment I made this decision, I say THANK YOU FOR KNOWING ME! You are the ones who matter to me. At first, I was so fed up with peoples' judgements that I was so ready to leave I didn't care who I was leaving behind, but now leaving is bittersweet. Bitter because I have to leave behind some amazing, caring and supportive friends, but sweet because I am leaving knowing that I have those friends and my time here wasn't a complete waste. Knowing this and knowing that I get to start fresh a new chapter in my life and that I get to do that confidently and with someone I care about in a way that I never knew I had the capacity to care for someone. All of these things make me know that I made the right decision, that I am strong and that I have something to be excited about. And most importantly, for the first time in my life, I am really and truly doing something for me and not once since I made this decision, have I ever cared about peoples' negative opinions or second-guessed my decision. Its the most refreshing feeling ever! All that being said (or rambled about really...),all I have left to say is VIVA LAS VEGAS BABY! :)
