My birthday

Today is my birthday. I'm 27. I know that's not old, but to me that's old. I didn't want a birthday party. I kinda just wanted to pretend like it wasn't my birthday at all. Some somebody's changed my mind and I had a "little gathering" in honor of this momentous day last night. I realized that I have the best friends in the world. That's not to say that if you didn't spend the evening with me last night, then you are not my friend, but to those of you that did, thank you. Thank you for taking time out of your lives to hang out with me. The past few months have been a roller coaster and you all have been there for me. Thank you for loving me. So, birthdays are good days for reflecting, but the mushy stuff is over! On with the fun...

*Spencer*Derek*Traci*Michael*Sara*Kristin*Chris*
*Michelle*Michelle*Derek*Tracy*Kari*Jay*Katie*
*Jay*Ashleigh*Randy*Shiloh*Ray*Amber*Kristal*
*Heather*Brent*

You are awesome! Thanks for sharing my birthday with me! You guys mean the world to me!!!!!

Now for the pictures!
The host with the most:


Most of my rhino crew and two of my elephant cousins (Kristal, Derek, Tracy, Sara, me, and Kari):


Traci, me, and Derek:


Katie and me:


Jay's grocery list for me...if only you could actually see what he wrote:


Ashleigh, me, and Randy:


Spencer, me, and Michael, I love these boys!


Me and Michelle my belle:


Brent and Heather...awww:


Shiloh, me and Amber:

The end!

Thank you again to everyone who celebrated with me. I am so lucky to have the greatest friends in the world!!!!!

Starting over...

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

I always hated this song ("Closing Time" by Semisonic). But when I tried to be inspired by quotes about starting over, this is the only one that ran through my head and the ones I googled were stupid. I suppose its very true though...blatantly obviously very true. Of course every new beginning comes from something that has ended. So here I sit, waiting for my new beginning from something that has ended. I suppose if it has already ended then something else has already begun. But first I have to find myself everyone tells me. I need to know who I am. I need to know that I am an independent person. I need to know that I am a strong woman. I need to know that I can survive. I need to know what I want in this life and to figure out how to get it. I need to find happiness. This is what everyone tells me anyway. I can't imagine they are completely wrong. These are definitely things I want to know about myself. So how do I "find myself"? How do I learn these things about myself? Is it by being all alone and just sitting inside my head and thinking? I would go insane. Is it by spending time in conversation with people who love and care about me and my well being? They would drive me insane. So? What to do? I find myself pondering myself and my life at the most random moments: watching a sunrise over a shit filled rhino paddock, walking down Canal Street in New York City where all kinds of people are trying to sell me "italian handbags", "very nice sunglasses", and knock off jewelry, searching for random people on myspace, and driving home from work and missing my turn because I temporarily forgot where I lived. I don't mean to ponder these things during these times, but they pop into my head and I can't shake it. So I guess that means I am supposed to be thinking about them. Maybe this is it...this is how I find myself...by letting my mind wander wherever my thoughts may take me. So I started a blog...so that I can write all of these thoughts down. I suppose if someone else is reading it, that means I decided to share these thoughts with others. And if not, then this is just a sort of therapy for me, myself, and I.

I am scared to death to start over.
and
I am totally excited to start over.

So I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. I have my whole life ahead and that is encouraging. I am surrounded by wonderful amazing and supportive family and friends and that is priceless to me. What is meant to be will be and I can't wait to find out what it is.

Best Damn Survey Ever!

Myspace, to me, is all about the surveys you take to share with your friends and Kari Saunders and I ROCK the surveys! We made this one up together and I didn't want to lose it in the shuffle so I'm posting it here to savor it for always! :)

You're stuck in a room for an hour with a chalkboard, what would you draw?
First I would draw some girly stuff like flowers and rainbows, then I would get bored and draw stick people or maybe dirty pictures....then I would just go crazy and draw a polar bear in a snowstorm. Ha ha...I'm funny.

Which is worse--an innocent person imprisoned or a guilty one set free?
A guilty one set free!! BASTARDS!

What song can you most relate to (give lyrics)?
Roll With The Changes (REO Speedwagon)~"So if you're tired of the
Same old story, Turn some pages..."

Do you think sporks are the greatest invention? (You know--the half spoon, half fork)??
They are worthless. Worthless things suck.

Who is more bad ass -- AC Slater or Uncle Jesse?
They both had mullets...but come one, Uncle Jesse had a band...hello...bands are bad ass!

Would you rather eat at the Peach Pit or the Max?
Peach Pit...cuz I be makin' out with Dylan McKay! ;)

Do you honestly believe trees are green?
Well they might be blue, but I just think everything that is blue looks green...who knows?

Would you ever sacrifice everything for a friend?
Yes...I would do anything for my friends.

Why are there religions?
To give people something to disagree about.

How do you feel about politics?
I think you shouldn't talk about shit you don't understand...

Do you think most people are disrespectful?
yes, but that makes the respectful ones that much easier to find.

Why can't pigs fly?
Because they don't have wings. And they're fat. Duh.

How tempting are buttons?
depends on what kind of buttons we're talking about here....

Do you walk up the escalator or go for a ride?
I am not lazy, therefore I walk. Unless some lazy ass is in front of me blocking my way.

If the US had to sacrifice a state, which one would you vote for and why?
Idaho. Has anyone ever REALLY been to Idaho?

What do you think about California?
I think its big and long.

Why is the sky blue?
Its not...its green. Trees are blue.

Why is the Earth round?
Because its more fun that way. (And it turns me on.)

Do you think fish are cute?
Yes! Sweet lips especially...awww...

How do you feel about bald people?
I never met a bald man I didn't like....wait....yeah, that's it.

If Aerosmith and the Rolling Stones got into a fight, who would win? Aerosmith all the way....because they're hotter.

Did you read Fear Street books?
Nope.

Name a movie villain that scared you as a kid?
That stupid clown from IT. I HATE CLOWNS!

Do we all go a little mad sometimes?
Muhahahahaha...sometimes?!

Would you rather have an incurable disease that was not deadly, but painful, or would you rather have a painless disease where you only had so long left to live?
I'm a wimp and I like to plan things, so I'll take painless with the knowledge that I only had a certain amount of time to live...

What song do you wish you had written? Why?
Baba O'Riley by The Who...just because its AWESOME! ;)

What is the most obscene thing you and your friends have ever done/yelled while in a car?
Steak N Shake drive thru with Tiff, Jenny, and Kari in Kari's mom's car with their last name on the plates...in the backseat flashing the people behind us....awesome. Then Kari floored it and someobody got hurt and bled!

If you were murdered and they found the person who did it, would you want them to be executed?
Heck yes....or maybe my loved ones could torture them first....muahhahahahaha....

Who is your favorite cereal box character?
Snap of Snap, Crackel and Pop...because he's the first one that gets to jump in the bowl of Rice Krispies!

What was/is the name of your favorite stuffed animal?
I think it was Cuddles the Koala or blankie.

Best Adam Sandler movie?
Billy Madison hands down.

If your house is on fire and you can only grab ONE photograph, which photograph would it be and why?
Me, jeff, jason, and lauren with Grandpa.

What is the weirdest thing you have ever done in Milwaukee?
Listened to Brian Wilson open for Paul Simon...gah! Made my soul bleed.

Would you jump on a couch for Tom Cruise?
Hell no...but I would for someone else. Actually, I don't care if he's cookoo for cocoa puffs, I'd probably jump on a couch for Tom Cruise too....

If you were stranded on a deserted island and you would be there for the rest of your life with a cd player and an endless amount of batteries, what three cd's would you bring to listen to over and over again. They can't be mix cd's you made:
1.) Fleetwood Mac~Rumours
2.) Journey~Greatest Hits Live
3.) The Beatles~Rubber Soul

Are Trix soley for kids?
They're sure as hell not for that damn rabbit!

Which Disney character would you like to punch?
Donald Duck

Name 3 of the 23 unique flavors that you can taste in Dr. Pepper.
ummmm...prunes, rum, and pepper??? I don't know. Its good whatever it is.

Who is the best Saturday Night Live actor ever?
Adam Sandler of course!

If you could be reincarnated to be any animal, which animal would you be and why?
A bonobo....muhahahahaha...some of you will get it...

Admit a movie that you might get your ass kicked for saying that you love.
On The Line ~but I don't care...I love me some NSYNC!

Which celebrity would make the best vice president to Pedro?
David Hasselhoff

Alex Trebek or Bob Barker?
Bob Barker...."The price is wrong BITCH!"
"SUCK IT TREBEK!"

Who would win in a fight? Kevin Federline with brass knuckles or David Hasselhoff with numchucks?
Nobody can beat numchucks...and nobody can beat my man Dave...THE HOFF ALL THE WAY!!! What a stud! Don't hassle the HOFF!

You have one hour to live starting now...what is one thing you MUST do?
mmmhmmm~wait only one hour?! bummmer...maybe a shower. :)

How I Do My Job...A Day In The Life

This blog is dedicated to my Rhino family: Momma, D, Trace and Saralicious...oh yeah and Turd Ferguson too...

Some inquiring minds want to know....some don't...so here you go....

First I get the truck keys and a radio. Then I go to the kitchen to get treats and bananas. (Sometimes the rhinos need an extra banana for my breakfast so I get that too...) Then I go to the Station and shift the boys (Forrest and Kayin) down. Then I put the tools in the back of the truck and pull the truck onto the habitat. Then I clean. I like to sweep the pad. I hate the poop hole...it hurts my back. I like to rake. I do NOT like to clean the water trough. I put the hay and grain out and then I lock up and shift the boys back to their breakfast. Then we pull the truck around to Chai's side and shift him in the barn (hopefully it isn't a barn day because I HATE cleaning the barn!). Then we pull the truck in there and drive around to all of the poop piles which are incredibly annoying. Then we clean them up along with the hay and I rake WAY TOO MUCH just to annoy everyone and because I am anal. If Tracy tries to clean the water trough I get annoyed because it takes FOREVER. But I love when she rakes anally with me! If Kristin drives the truck away before I'm done raking I yell at her. If Derek throws the poop on his pitchfork over his shouder instead of in the truck, it makes me want throw him in the mud hole. If Sara hoses something, I might scream. And god forbid we see any damn spiders!!!!! Ok, onward. Feed the whiny rhino and then we're out of here. To compost with the poop!!!! Moving right along to Rhino Rally. Pull in the electric gate that squeaks way too loud and needs oil. DON'T FORGET TO WASH THE STUPID TIRES!!!! Then get out and give someone hay through the cables and load the truck OR pick a stall and start opening the gates...your choice. Shift the rhino (Tim or Jethro) in. Get the tools. Drive the truck on hab. Maybe help 412 herd the three impala in. Clean. Feed. Drive out. Pull around. Shift the OTHER rhino back out. Clean the messy stalls. Make sure all of the gates are locked. Drive around and clean the tires. Go to compost and dump the truck. Go to Wild Whites (Tambo, Kisiri, Malaika, Mlelani and Sidd or Dakini or Dakarai or whatever the HELL her name is!!). Maybe bleed them first, maybe not. Depends on what day it is and who's there. Watch me, I will get blood EVERYTIME though! GET THE WHEELBARROW or momma might get mad ;-), call 499 and tell them those rhinos are going out on the North Veldt and then shift them out! Then we drive to Black Rhinos. Shift the girls into their respective barns. Get the tools on the truck. Drive the truck on hab (without scratching the side of the damn truck on the fence like I did!) and clean. Sara will hose the pad or Tracy or Sara will scrub the water hole. Tracy will ALWAYS fill the mud hole...she rocks that. After we clean the hay we clean the poop, then some more poop, then some more hay, then the barn(s). Then we put the rhinos where they go and then we leave. Guess where we go? THE DUMP AGAIN! After that it damn well better be close to lunch time because we are ALL STARVING BY NOW. If it isn't lunch time, we might go do a hay run. After lunch its all up in the air. Do what needs to be done. (Tours, browse cutting, fix broken stuff, mow or weed eat, fill mud holes, weigh or bleed rhinos, seps, RELATE SESSIONS, enrichment, etc.) Sometimes all that needs to be done is a little team bonding over some homemade TOO SWEET but delicious Gatorade in the Station Office. This is very important.

Some important things to know about how I do my job though...if I complain about something like being hot or having to clean a barn, it doesn't mean I am having a bad day or that I like my job any less. It just means, I need to say it out loud so you know and then I am done and happy to go and do said thing I am not bouncing off of the walls about. I don't need to be reminded that it could be worse. I am well aware of the fact that I have one of the most amazing jobs in the world thank you very much. Also, if there is not music on in the background of WHATEVER I am doing, preferably MY music, but any music will usually do just fine, then I WILL be crabby and it WILL NOT be "a good day" Oh yes, and 3:00PM will come at the same time no matter what. Thank you. That is all.

P.S. We are a family and we stab each other in the front NOT THE BACK! :-)

My Family Is Expanding Again! :)

I got a phone call from my brother Jeff this afternoon. He told me he bought a ring for his girlfriend Yvonne. When I was home for Parker's birthday last weekend, he told me he had been thinking about popping the question for awhile. A week later he has made the big purchase. I asked him when and how he was going to ask her. He said he had to talk to her step mom and get the ring sized first, so it would probably be a couple of weeks. About 6 hours later, I got another phone call from my brother saying, "I'm engaged!" Apparently that thing was burning a hole in his pocket and he had to get rid of it quick! He took her out to dinner and asked her to marry him and she said yes! :-) So now my other brother will be hitched within a year or so and I will have another new sister!!!! I am so happy for them. They both deserve so much to be happy and they make each other just that! In fact, I don't think I have ever seen my brother so content about his life. She loves him, she supports him, she grounds him. He adores her. Its perfect. Congratulations Jeffrey and Yvonne. I can't wait to share your big day with you!!!!!!!!

Journey Rocks My Life! :)

Using your favorite band, answer the questions using ONLY song lyrics from this band. You can only use a song once.


JOURNEY! :-)

Here goes...

WHO ARE YOU?
"She loves to laugh, she loves to sing, she does everything, she loves to move, she loves to grove, she loves the lovin' things." (Any Way You Want It)


HOW DO YOU FEEL?
"Wheel in the sky keeps on turnin', I don't know where I'll be tomorrow..." (Wheel In The Sky)


HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS?
"I'm standing here with my arms a mile wide, hoping and praying for you. Listen to me and enlighten me, I hope that you need me too, 'cause, Ooh, ooh anytime that you want me...Ooh, ooh anytime that you need me..." (Anytime)


WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU?
"When the summer's gone. She'll be there standing by the light. Once she's been to where she's gone to, she should know wrong from right." (Feeling That Way)


WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?
"We're all raised on radio, radio, I love my radio. Radio, Radio,
Radio, Radio." (Raised On Radio)


HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT LOVE?
"I'd do anything to hold you. I'd go anywhere to touch you. I'd do anything you want me to, if you'll just stay with me awhile.
I'd sing any song your heart desires. I would sing out loud of love's sweet fires. Ooh, I'd do all this and so much more, if you'll just stay with me awhile. Reach out your hand, oh, to me. Oh, I'm fallin'...Won't you just stay with me awhile." (Stay Awhile)


HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR LAST EX?
"One love feeds the fire, one heart burns desire, I wonder, who's cryin' now. Two hearts born to run, who'll be the lonely one? I wonder, who's cryin' now." (Who's Cryin' Now)


DESCRIBE A PERFECT DATE?
"Those crazy nights, I do remember in my youth I do recall, those were the best times...singing by the railroad track...we danced by moonlight." (Stone In Love)


DESCRIBE YOUR BEST VACATION?
"Doin' time...where it takes you, you know it's time that can break you, we get caught in the moment ...just sleepwalkin' most of our lives. In your mind (when you need it), with a song (to help you believe it), you can reinvent your world anytime you like" (To Be Alive Again)


WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO FOR FUN?
"Lovin', touchin', squeezin' each other!" (Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin')


HOW DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?
"Be good to yourself, when nobody else will." (Be Good To Yourself)


WHAT ARE THE BEST LYRICS FROM THIS BAND THAT DESCRIBE YOUR WORLD?
"Callin' out her name I'm dreamin', reflections of a face I'm seein', it's her voice that keeps on haunting me." (Send Her My Love)