THE Work Blog

This blog has two purposes and it will travel as I update it so if you have read it before, don't forget to look for the new additions if it returns to the top of the blog!

These are actual events, customers and happenings at a Las Vegas Starbucks. No names have been changed to protect the innocent. No parts of these stories have been exaggerated. These are just a few of the reasons that I am slowly losing my faith in the human race......................................................but what can you do besides laugh?

*This blog is dedicated to my extremely intelligent and patient co-workers. :)

DRIVE THRU CUSTOMER: "Can I have a quad venti HOT Caramel Macchiato with whipped cream and can you make sure the whipped cream isn't melted or mushy?"
(I'm not sure how we're supposed to prevent the cold whipped cream from melting or becoming "mushy" when it is on a HOT beverage....but ok...)

A: "How are you today?"
Old Guy: "Well, I took my viagra today so I'm feeln' pretty hard."
Who says that at Starbucks?! Who says that to a complete stranger?! WHO SAYS THAT AT ALL?!

Man: "What coffee are you brewing today?"
Me: "Pike Place and East Africa"
Man: "Well I don't have jungle fever so I'll take the Pike."
Guess he didn't care if he offended anyone without his morning coffee....

An lullaby from India is playing in the background...
Weird Guy: "Can you change the music selection? This song makes me feel like I should be humping a camel."
Does music frequently make you feel like you should do these kinds of things to random animals?

This one needs no direct quotes...
Its a warm sunny morning at around 7:30AM. The drive-thru is pretty busy, the lane is full. A man orders his coffee and then waits his turn to make his way to the window. However, he never moves up and the cars keep piling up behind him. We can see on the camera that his eyes are closed in the car...we hope he has not died of caffeine deprivation. We wait a few minutes and he still doesn't move. The cars behind him begin to get impatient. J goes out to check on him and has to wake him up to get him to move up. Narcolepsy or just a severe need for caffeine? YIKES!

Old Lady: "Can I have a tall caramel frappucino light?"
Me: "Sure, your total is blah blah blah..."
Old lady hands me her money, etc.
Old Lady: "Did I just order a frappucino?"
Me: "Yes ma'am."
She nods and looks down and starts rummaging through her purse and mumbling to herself.
Old Lady: "Sometimes I forget where I'm going."
Ok....................................I hope she wasn't driving a car........

A woman probably in her 40's walks in with her boyfriend who is probably in his mid to late 30's. She is wearing a t-shirt that says "COUGAR."
Cougar: "I'd like a venti caramel frappucino."
Me: "Would you like whipped cream on that?"
Cougar: "No, but do you have any female liquid viagra you could put in my drink?"
Me (faking a chuckle): "No sorry."
Cougar: "Oh. I was hoping you'd say yes."
She wasn't laughing with me. Neither was her boyfriend. They were both very serious about their question....HUH?

Spanish Speaking Lady: "Habla espanol?"
Me: "No"
Spanish Speaking Lady: "Habla espanol?"
Joe: "No"
Spanish Speaking Lady: "blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah" (all in Spanish)
Did we mention we DON'T SPEAK SPANISH?! "No" is English AND Spanish right?! WTF?!

To be continued..................................................................................................