Frustratingly enough, today started with a phone call from Parker and Mason's father, saying he wasn't dropping them off until 6:00PM, even though our little birthday party for Mason was planned to start at 2:00PM. Since we had some free time, we went to visit Dad. When Spencer, Mom, Jeff, Yvonne, and I got there we were surprised to see Uncle Keith and Aunt Carol visiting as well. Another nice surprise. Dad is doing well, but he's still really uncomfortable with the fluid filling up his stomach. His appetite is slowly coming back despite that, but he hates the hospital food and they keep changing his diet back and forth from a liquid diet to a normal diet. Thankfully they removed the IV since he is able to drink fluids, so that's less excess fluid going into his system and bloating his stomach even more. He is trying to eat because he wants to leave the hospital and he knows he can't leave the hospital until he can walk around on his own and he knows he can't walk around on his own until he can eat regularly and regain his energy. While we were at the hospital, Lauren called and said she was able to pick up the boys early and we should head home! Mom went to pick up the balloons and Jeff, Yvonne, Spencer, and I went to pick up Shamrock Shakes from McDonald's. Just about right after we got home, the birthday boy arrived and the party started! 
And then it was time for cake...
After he was done with his very own cake, we all had our own, less messy cake while the birthday boy got a bath and went to bed. We felt bad that Dad had to miss the party, so after everyone left, Spencer and I went back to the hospital to see him, bring him a contraband fruit tray from the party and show him some pictures. Then we said goodnight and headed home. I think we all had too much birthday today! :) Goodnight! Happy Birthday Mason Ryley! :)
...Kinda. We visited Dad first thing this morning. He got up and walked around on his own, showered, and was feeling better in general, so he got moved from intensive care to a regular room. We also heard from the doctor who performed his procedure last week and he said he didn't need to be transferred to another hospital OR have any other procedure done, he just needed to give this time to heal and get better. He needs to eat, but his stomach is filling up with fluid and it makes him always feel full, so its hard for him to eat, but he is trying. When we got to the hospital, my Aunt Janice and cousin Jill were visiting, so it was nice to see them and for Dad to have other visitors. We all hung out for awhile and then when Dad started feeling sick from his medicine we gave him his space and let him rest. Jeff, Yvonne, and Spencer went home and Mom and I went to run some errands to prepare for Mason's 1st birthday party tomorrow! While I was gone, my wonderful hubby made plans with my two best friends for us to go out to dinner tonight. It was nice to have someone else take care of all the details and just have fun. So Tiffany, Jenny, Spencer and I met up at my favorite and much missed Mexican restaraunt, On The Border, had good feed and yummy margaritas and sangria and it was really nice to just talk about other stuff and have fun for awhile. It was a really nice break thanks to three of my favorite people! Time for bed!
Today is Mom's birthday. It didn't start off as a good day at all. Dad is still throwing up blood. Yesterday his hemoglobin levels went closer to where they were supposed to be, but today they are back to where they were before that. So he is not better, but he's not worse. And he was supposed to be able to go home today according to the doctor who did his procedure for the varices 48 hours ago. But now one of the doctors is saying he needs a different procedure...the worst case scenario procedure, so everyone is freaking out! Especially Mom. She is stressed, trying to do everything she can as his wife AND as a nurse to help find out what is the best option for him, where he should be transferred to, etc. And her birthday seemed to totally fall by the wayside. Jeff and Yvonne got here this morning and we were supposed to have a girls' day shopping with Mom that got canceled after our trip to the hospital to see Dad. Mom was on the phone all day with either doctors or concerned family members and I could tell she was exhausted and not having a happy birthday. Then came time for our secret present and we all had to make up excuses as to why we had to leave and meet her at her birthday dinner later. Any other day it wouldn't have been a big deal, but today we all felt HORRIBLE leaving her alone at the house. If not for the knowledge that she would LOVE the outcome of our sneaking away, we probably wouldn't have gone through with it. Everyone got away successsfully though and we arrived at the place on time, we only had a short wait, and everything went pretty smooth. Parker wasn't into taking pictures at first and Jackson was super hot in his red shirt, but overall, we loved the end results so much that we got Mom way more than we originally planned, but she deserves it! And how could we resist...see for yourself:
So after the pictures, we met up with Mom for dinner at TGIFriday's, her choice. First Yvonne and I beautifully wrapped her gift even though the boys didn't want us to. 
After she opened her gift, she teared up a little bit, but she LOVED her frame! As you can kind of see, it turned out great! 
We enjoyed a nice dinner and a few drinks together and then went our separate ways. Lauren, Jason, Sara, and Jackson went home, and Jeff, Yvonne, Mom, Spencer and I went to the hospital to see Dad and show him Mom's frame and then we all headed home for movie night. It was a really nice way to end the day on a happy note. Happy Birthday Mommy! :)
Last night after a good cry and a good talk, Spencer and I figured out that the best way we could "be there" for everyone was just to make everyday life easier. So we did our best to do that today. Lauren had school. Mom had work. So we started off an early morning with 2 cute little boys, getting 1 of them changed, fed, and ready for a day of playing, more eating and napping, and the other 1 ready for a day of preschool, playing and entertaining. I actually thought that Mason, sleeping in his crib which was right next to the bed we were sleeping in, would be my alarm clock for the day when I was told that he usually wakes up around 6:30AM, but nope, it was mom, shoveling the driveway right outside our window at 5:30AM after a light snowfall last night! When I couldn't fall back asleep, I decided now may be my only free moment to shower all day so I did just that. Sure enough, when I walked out of the bathroom who did I see peeking up over his crib? Mason was up and happy to see someone else awake too. So he got changed, ate, and started his busy day of playing. Soon after Parker and Spencer got up. Spencer was in charge of the dogs and I was in charge of the kids. Parker got all dressed for preschool, made his bed and cleaned his room without me asking him too. He even washed his face and brushed his teeth. Knowing how challenging he can be at times, I was pleasantly surprised. The only thing he wouldn't do was eat breakfast. He also told me a couple times that he wasn't going to school but when I told him I was going with him and he had to show me around, he was more interested. Lauren's roomie Amanda watched Mason while we took Parker to school. He showed us around, introduced us to his teachers, and then we left him to go visit Dad. He was about the same today...more chatty...in fact, I realized that I don't really need to go visit him, as long as Spencer's there...those two just talk and talk and talk and I can't get a word in! Its funny! While we were there, I told Dad what we were doing for Mom for her birthday. He then remembered that he had a card for her in his sock drawer and asked me to get it out and give it to her in the morning. I don't know why but this made me tear up a little bit. My parents' relationship has always had a strange dynamic. I know deep down somewhere they love each other but I often doubted it growing up. So it really moved me to know that my Dad had in fact planned ahead and remembered my Mom's birthday. It felt good to know that in the midst of everything going on, I would still have something to give her from him tomorrow. Anyway, after our visit, we picked Parker up and learned all about the letter T and he got a smiley face which meant he was good. We headed home for lunch. I thought lunch would be a challenge, but because of the desperation Parker felt to eat the chocolate train his teachers sent home, he chowed down on his peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which I told him he had to finish if he wanted to eat the train. :) After lunch the cleaning chaos began. Mom has been very busy with work, dad, grandsons, etc. and doesn't get much time to clean, so I decided to do it for her. Spencer and Parker went on several adventures outside which I now wish I would have gone on because I didn't get any fun pictures (taking breaks to help me clean inside when they needed to warm up) and Mason kept me company while I cleaned (and made more messes for me to clean up too). Spencer did a great job keeping the boys entertained while I cleaned and I think he had fun too. Jason, Sara, and Jackson came to visit tonight too, so on our first day here Spencer got to meet the 2 nephews he hadn't met yet!
After Jason, Sara, and Jackson left, I finished the last of the cleaning, Lauren was home, and Spencer and I decided to get dinner and have it waiting for Mom when she got home from work. It was a race to Jimmy John's before they closed but we made it. We at our dinner and now I'm relaxing on the couch watching the episode of Lost we missed on Tuesday and am completely exhausted. My plan is to head to bed early. Tomorrow is Mom's birthday and I am hoping that in the midst of all the bad stuff going on, she will celebrate and have fun.
Although I anticipated our journey from Las Vegas to Illinois to be a bumpy one both literally and figuratively, it was surprisingly smooth. I guess that's the only break we're going to catch for now. We did something different than normal and flew into Peoria instead of Chicago and then rented a car to drive to Plainfield. It was cheaper and surprisingly easy. Smooth flight, on time, cheap rental car, easy drive, no traffic. As soon as we returned our rental car, we went with Mom to the hospital to see Dad. I had prepared myself for the worst and I'm glad I did. When I walked in he looked awful. So pale and frail. He's so skinny I can see his cheek bones and his legs are the size of my arms. The only thing big on him is his stomach. He looks pregnant because fluid is draining into his belly since his liver isn't working properly. Its causing him discomfort but not as much as the pain from his procedure last night and his throwing up blood. He could barely talk at first. After we were there for awhile, thankfully, he perked up. Looking at him, I'm so sad and scared. How can they say he is ok to go home in less than 48 hours when he can't even move or talk and he is still throwing up blood?! My confidence is decreasing by the minute. I know my mom is trying to stay positive. She is so strong. But I catch her starring off and looking sad every so often and I can't decide which persons' pain tears me up inside more. I lay here and cry with Spencer because I'm so sad for them both and I just cry harder because I think, who is holding my mom when she cries? And does my dad even have any energy to cry? And what about everyone else? My nephew who doesn't quite understand why Grandpa isn't at home and why he can't visit him? My older sister who hasn't had the chance to resolve her issues with him yet? His younger sisters and brothers, most of whom are so far away they can't do anything but sit and wait for an update via phone or text (I know how hard that one is...)? I can't figure out how to be strong and stay positive, how to deal with any potential outcome to all of this, and how to be here for everyone else in the ways that they need. I guess that's why we pray...because we don't know what else to do...maybe there isn't anything else to do. I have 5 more days here to figure it out before I go back to Las Vegas with that same helpless guilty feeling for being so far away again. :(
Tonight while I was at work, I got an urgent phone call from my mom and her message said, "Heather, I need to talk to you right away, call me back." Usually her "urgent" messages aren't urgent and she leaves a more detailed message, so I immediately knew something was wrong. I called her phone 5 times and no answer, more indication that something was wrong. Then I called the house phone and my sister's friend Amanda answered (even MORE indication of something wrong) and told me that she didn't know what happened but that there was an ambulance in the driveway when she got there and they were taking my dad to the hospital. After I FINALLY got ahold of my mom (and found out Spencer had known what was going on all along so I should have just called him), I found out that my dad had been throwing up blood for a few days now but today it got really bad. It turns out that he had 4 varices which I later learned are abnormally enlarged veins in the lower part of your esophagus, the tube that connects your throat and your stomach, caused by serious liver disease. Another side affect of this stupid tumor! They did some kind of procedure where they banded these varices to stop the bleeding and according to the doctor, he should be released within 48 hours. However, according to some of the websites I have checked against my better judgement and just about everyone's wishes, it doesn't sound that simple. Either way, today has been another awful, stressful day, and although we are leaving to go there tomorrow in a kind of last minute trip, it suddenly does NOT feel soon enough. I'm so nervous to see my dad in the hospital. I expect him to look sick, but everyone looks sicker in a hospital bed no matter why they are in it. I'm afraid of my reaction. I don't want to freak out when I see him because that won't help him AT ALL. I have to wake up really early in the morning to start our travels and I know that I won't sleep tonight because of everything going on, so I am going to take a sleeping pill and risk the drunk feeling I get whenever I do not sleep the full 8 hours a sleeping pill requests. Please continue your prayers for my family and especially for my dad. We need a break from all of this!
My mom and dad went to Bloomington, Indiana today to meet with Dr. Alan Thorton, the doctor who will potentially be treating my dad's liver tumor now that it is not surgically removable. Dr. Thorton is the man who has developed this Proton Therapy for the 5 centers in the United States that are currently the only locations where this type of treatment is available. There are more under construction right now, however, the one in Bloomington, a 4 hour drive for my parents, is the closest one available for Dad. Apparently, this therapy has been around in Europe, Canada, and Japan for several years...apparently the U.S. is WAY behind in medical technology, at least in this department! In fact, this condition is very common in Japan. They see on average 5-10 cases in Japan a week! And Dr Thorton was in Japan recently to see their equipment and get information about their cure, so it seems he would be Dad's best possible option, hands down. Anyway, Proton Therapy is basically a radiation beam that zeroes in precisely on the tumor and does not affect any of the good cells in the body like a normal radiation treatment might. Dad was told that he has 3 lesions on his liver and for that it would take 16 treatments, one treatment a day, 40 minutes per treatment, putting him in the hospital far from home for 3-4 weeks. If he decides to do this, the doctor is confident that the 3 lesions would be cured and cleared up 100%! This is GREAT news. But in every update I have gotten with my dad's health lately, there is always great news and there is always a "BUT" which is REALLY frustrating to all of us, and especially, I am sure, to him. The but in this situation, is that they still do not know exactly what was on his colon when he got that original PET Scan...and if it is a tumor on his colon, which cannot be treated in this same way or as effectively, then all the Proton Therapy in the world would be worthless. At this point, I am not sure if that means they need to recheck the scans, or do another attempt at a colonoscopy or what, but first we are apparently waiting to find out if my dad's insurance will cover the procedure in Bloomington in the first place. If it doesn't, he won't consider it. If it does, he will start to think about it according to him. And no matter what, this is not just a trip to Indiana and daily treatments. He would also need a body scan taken so that Dr. Thorton can make a mold of his body in which he would lay in during the treatments and he will also need to have surgery to place clips on his liver. These would be used as markers for the proton beam, As you can imagine, he is incredibly overwhelmed right now because it seems that everytime there is an upside to his treatment, there is also some kind of glitch that goes along with it. So...doctors are talking, Dad is thinking, insurance companies are deciding and we are waiting.....Spencer and I leave for our visit home on Wednesday, February 24th...I am feeling so beyond stressed in general right now and I am not sure if this trip will be a stressful, sad trip or a nice, fun, positive trip. I am, of course, wishing for the latter...we will also be there for Mom's birthday and Mason's 1st birthday which will be nice, but I'm still a little nervous. What if he looks sick and I react? What if we fight? I'm so trying to be positive, but its soooo hard right now. Please pray for our visit and our family and positivity and especially for Dad to make the right choices and be healthy again!
After he was done with his very own cake, we all had our own, less messy cake while the birthday boy got a bath and went to bed. We felt bad that Dad had to miss the party, so after everyone left, Spencer and I went back to the hospital to see him, bring him a contraband fruit tray from the party and show him some pictures. Then we said goodnight and headed home. I think we all had too much birthday today! :) Goodnight! Happy Birthday Mason Ryley! :)
So after the pictures, we met up with Mom for dinner at TGIFriday's, her choice. First Yvonne and I beautifully wrapped her gift even though the boys didn't want us to. 
After she opened her gift, she teared up a little bit, but she LOVED her frame! As you can kind of see, it turned out great! 
We enjoyed a nice dinner and a few drinks together and then went our separate ways. Lauren, Jason, Sara, and Jackson went home, and Jeff, Yvonne, Mom, Spencer and I went to the hospital to see Dad and show him Mom's frame and then we all headed home for movie night. It was a really nice way to end the day on a happy note. Happy Birthday Mommy! :)
After Jason, Sara, and Jackson left, I finished the last of the cleaning, Lauren was home, and Spencer and I decided to get dinner and have it waiting for Mom when she got home from work. It was a race to Jimmy John's before they closed but we made it. We at our dinner and now I'm relaxing on the couch watching the episode of Lost we missed on Tuesday and am completely exhausted. My plan is to head to bed early. Tomorrow is Mom's birthday and I am hoping that in the midst of all the bad stuff going on, she will celebrate and have fun.
