Find My Family

Last week I sent an email out to my entire address book asking for donations for the MS Walk Spencer and I are doing in April. I got a really unexpected donation followed by an email from my older sister who I haven't talked to, seen or heard from in 12 years. I recently connected with her 2 daughters, my nieces, on facebook in August and December which is what led to this reuniting of sorts. As you might imagine, this has all been accompanied by several emotions on my part. Curiosity, nervousness, worry, guardedness, excitement, fear, joy and determination for starters. Some of you know I have been working on forgiveness so far this year, not just with my dad, but everyone in my life. I really want this to be a part of that healing process for me. While Brandy never did anything to directly affect me, she has issues with my dad which have caused a rift in that part of our family. Growing up, I always wished she would be more a part of our lives because I so badly wanted a big sister. I think I was angry at her for not being my big sister, though now I'm figuring out it wasn't really her fault all along. I want this to be a positive experience to everyone involved which is the reason for my cautiousness. I also don't want to have to choose sides...I don't want there to end up being sides to choose. The past is the past and its beyond time to move forward, so that's what I'm hoping and praying for.

I recently started watching a reality TV show on ABC called Find My Family. Its about people who were either adopted as children or gave up their child for adoption who are trying to find each other years later. This show resonates with me since I am adopted and I basically cry the entire time putting myself in each position represented on each episode. I have never really had a burning desire to find my biological parents, but with each episode I wonder what it would be like for them to find me. Getting in touch with Brandy has given me just the smallest tasted of what that would be like. Its an indescribable, almost stressful, but in a good way, emotion.

I look forward to see how this all progresses and I am excited about the possibilities, but please pray that it remains positive for everyone!