ATTACK!

Ok, last night, while attempting to catch Layla for her monthly claw trim, she attacked me. If you've been following along, you know that this cat is a complete bitch. We rescued her a little over 3 years ago from the tiger habitat at the Mirage. She was 6 weeks old tops when we got her. So although she was technically "feral"...she hasn't been for most of her life. We have tried everything under the sun and then some to get this cat to calm down, to be nice, to know that Spencer and I are boss, but that we will not hurt her and that we do in fact feed her. Nothing works. She has hissed and spit at us when we look at her since the day we brought her home. Although she has always been mean with the hissing and spitting, she hasn't actually ever attacked us. We attempt to catch her once a month or less for a nail trim...she claws the crap out of our furniture and this time we are getting new furniture so it was a must and will be more frequent. Last time while trying to escape, she scratched Spencer, although I don't think that was on purpose, but it was pretty nasty. I truly didn't expect her to hurt me when I caught her last night. Not only did she claw me but she drug her claws across my face and tore off a ton of skin just above my lip. It felt so deep that I kept pushing my tongue on the inside of my mouth to make sure the hole didn't go all the way through. The blood would NOT stop flowing out. I'm surprised I didn't pass out (me and blood don't usually get along when we come face to face). I was more upset about the fact that she is going to leave this huge horribly ugly scar on my face than the pain I was in. Spencer doctored me up and took good care of me, but now I'm pissed. I can't even look at myself in the mirror without crying and wanting to kill that cat. I am the epitome of animal lover so this isn't actually true. I am angry, don't get me wrong. And I definitely WANT to get rid of her. But I can't bring myself to do it without feeling completely guilty. If I bring her to a shelter, no one will want her because she will hiss and spit at them...and if they don't adopt her out within a certain amount of time they will just put her down. And deep down I know that even though she isn't a happy animal in general, she is happier here with her "sister"/b/f/f Noelle, than she will ever be anywhere else. This is the only "home" she has ever known, despite the fact that she apparently absolutely hates it. So that being said, I will give her ONE MORE chance...and then I will find her a new home if it kills me. If she hurts me or my new furniture, she's goin' down...stay tuned I guess....and feel free to offer up any suggestions you may have...aside from the ones where you tell me to get rid of her because I just can't do that...yet...